My wife's been complaining that I don't look "handsome" anymore. I thought to myself what can I do to rekindle the flame. I gained a couple hundred pounds since we've been together. Maybe that's why she's not happy, but I'm not sure. I'm an artist and I've been thinking about starting a business where you can Design your own sweatshirt. I'm a big guy so I thought I'd call it Samoan sweatshirts.
Basically, I wanted to give other big guys a confidence boost. I thought about making it an online business to attract new customers. I thought about using my wife's money because it's a safer investment. You don't expect me to use my own money God forbid. Honestly, my wife really got under my skin with her comments, and it really made me think.
If this business takes off she'll want me again. That's when I'll divorce her for a young model. I'm just joking, I love my wife, like I love a bullet in the head. I have a hard time shopping for clothes, and I can't ever find anything in my size. Listen to me, I sound like a woman, but it's true.
My idea of a good shirt is anything that can cover my big gut. If I turn to the side people say I resemble a lower case "b." I really hope this business takes off because it's the only thing I have left. Oh, here comes my wife, I have to pretend that I'm happily married.